


take your time (coming home)

by notenoughtofeelthelack



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Lena Luthor, F/F, Kara Winn and Nia live together, Kara and Lena are two oblivious idiots, Lena and Andrea are exes, Minor Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Minor James "Jimmy" Olsen/Winn Schott Jr, Minor Querl Dox/Nia Nal, Mutual Pining, Well I tried, dumb jock Kara Danvers, this is a shit show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notenoughtofeelthelack/pseuds/notenoughtofeelthelack
Summary: She was one of the only things Kara could really always count on. Their friendship had only started a year ago when Kara had to interview Lena for a project - when everyone still hated her; hated her for her family and the evil they had done, how corrupted they are and how money-hungry they could be; hated her not because of what she was or what she did, but what they thought she was and did. So it was just a established fact that Lena Luthor was the same as everyone else that carries the infamous name of Luthor. But Kara didn't think so, and Lena was grateful for that.They simply... clicked, Kara liked to think, like kindred spirits, meant to be together.or...The college au where supercorp can't get their shit together.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	1. Pink in the night

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is my first time writing (and publishing!) in english, so mistakes are gonna happen frequently, but feel free to help me correct them.
> 
> also, this is just a test (???) like, idk if this is gonna continue or not but it's really fun to write this even if no one reads it - plus, it's really hard for me to sit down and write mostly because of ADHD but i swear i'm gonna try.
> 
> lastly, i'm on tumblr too if you wanna talk to me there for whatever reason & most of the chapters name's are song titles so the au title is from fun. and the first chapter's mitski.

Kara could feel it.

It was going to be her year.

All these memories take her back to her first year high school (that pretty much just sucked and she felt like a complete outsider) and how things _actually_ got better in the second one. And she remembers everything all too well. How she was so awkward and wasn't really heard by anyone, how difficult it was to make friends, doing apparently everything wrong, no matter how hard trying to get things right - she had many talents, as well as sports, which was one of the reasons why she got into one of the best colleges in the country. 

National City University had always been a dream despite all the drama Kara had to go through, but now she knows she's gonna make it.

High School was easy compared to it, Kara had her group of friends - and fortunately one of them came to NCU with her -, a big house with her parents, theater and sports.

That was her life, and she liked it that way.

Her first year wasn't easy. But she knew it wouldn't be. 

Now is the time to make it better. To do the things she never did. To kiss the girl she always wanted to kiss.

**10:30 a.m.**

Kara definitely was a morning person, she just loved waking up from a good night sleep in a comfortable bed to the rays of sun that came in through her window and seemed to give her even more energy for the day she knew she would try to make the best of. Because that was her - the embodiment of the sun, the most optimistic person you know, a walking display of smiles, contagious joy and loud laughter (it gets annoying sometimes). And that was Kara. 

But not today.

_Lena? You look so pretty in this dress. Bet you look even prettier without it._

"You're pathetic." a voice said laughing in the distance - not because it was far, but because Kara wasn't fully awake. "And late. Wake up now or I swear next time I will record you and show it to Lena."

 _Shit_.

"What? Show what to Lena?" Kara wasn't sure what made her get up from bed: her stupid not-so-secret crush on her friend, or the clock on her bed stand making sure she knew she was late for her first day. "Actually, never mind, I'm fucking late, I don't have time for this, Winn".

"Hey, sorry, can I help you, at least?" the boy in a blue plaid shirt and cardigan said, already putting some books and Kara's phone on her backpack, while she was already going in the shower. "'Kay, um, call me." he finished, as if her mind wasn't too busy to hear him.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit._

Winn hadn't even already left the bedroom when Kara came back from the shower, rolled up in a towel and still with some soap on her body.

"Do you need help with that too?" he joked, as she tried to put on her bra.

"Fuck you, Winn." she said. "I literally cannot believe you're making jokes right now. Where's Nia? She could be useful here."

"Some of us wake up early." he said while walking off the bedroom, leaving Kara in the mess she created.

_Great job, Kara._

\---

"I had to do _one_ fucking thing, and I still managed to messed up!" Kara yelled, and at this point, no one really knows at whom. "I literally wanna die right now, just kill me, really. I can’t believe I missed my favorite class, that’s bad luck, I know it is.”

With an abnormal amount of drama pumping in her veins, Kara had already freaked out at almost everyone she knew about how much content from her classes she had lost - even though many classmates had offered to give her their notes -, her messy hair and an old hoodie, ripped black jeans (that were Nia’s, but too big for her) and sneakers that didn’t match colors.

Even the library lady had already gave up on trying to make Kara shut up.

"Stop being so dramatic" Nia said while eating her second sandwich today. "It's not like you wasted your entire day, you missed only what, two classes? That's _not_ a big deal."

Kara rolled her eyes and grunted.

"She is right, you are a good student, Kara, I am sure your professors know it." Brainy agreed to his girlfriend, as she kept stuffing her mouth with food. 

"Yeah, that's no big deal for you, girl." said Winn, who was trying to solve a robotics problem, almost giving up completely from the project.

Kara laid her head on the table and might have finally realized that yelling will not solve her problems.

Crying, maybe?

"Oh no, how did you manage to break her?" another voice came to the group with a tone of sarcasm yet, elegance.

"Don't touch anything or she might explode." Nia said, still half chewing on her sandwich.

"Lena?" Kara held her head up to look at the green eyed girl in front of her.

"Yes, Kara? Are you alright?" She said sitting right next to the blonde, holding her hand lightly.

"You're smart, can you build me a time machine?" Kara asked, with the innocence of a eight-year old and aware of her own drama.

"You're cute." Lena replied, while taking a look at Winn's textbook and answering the question he's been struggling with in the blink of an eye.

"Ouch." Nia said, observing Lena.

Winn locked his eyes with Lena's, trying to fake an angry expression "I hate you. I do."

"You're cute too." Lena said, laughing at his face "I have to go now, text me?" she said looking at Kara, who only managed to mumble 'uhum' as an answer.

It was time for another class, so most of them left a while after Lena anyway, as Winn headed straight to the robotics lab, still bittersweet that Lena outsmarted him.

\---

"Dude." Nia whispered to Kara in the middle of their ethics class. "What do you think we throw a party tonight? Like, not a lot of people, you know all these dumbasses are gonna do something too, so this would be just for us.”

"What?! No." Kara whispered back, but a little louder. "Not a good idea, besides, I have to practice."

Nia only looked at her, not at all satisfied with the answer.

"Professor J'onzz? Is it… Professor?" Kara was basically ignored by the only universally liked person in the whole campus. It really wasn't her day. "Fuck."

With only a sigh, Kara didn't even bother to try and participate in the debate about immigration the class was having, and Nia only looked at the girl.

"Kara, _pleaaase_ , I know you're stressed out today, and I think maybe having a party with our friends will make you better. What do you say?"

Kara sighed, defeated "Ask Winn, if he says no, then no."

"You know I love you, right? You and Lena can adopt me when you get the balls to ask her out."

"Shut up."

**SuperFriends GC**

**Nia:** y'all, party at our place at 8. BRING SNACKS

 **Brainy:** Did Kara agree with this? She seemed upset today.

 **Nia:** that's exactly why we should party. but yeah. kinda.

 **Winn:** what? you told me it was her idea? wtf nia

 **Lena:** She's so gonna kick your ass. If I were you, I would run. But I really want to see her kick your ass, so don't do anything.

 **Kara:** NIA NAL

 **Nia:** oof

 **Brainy:** Please don't yeet my girlfriend.

 **Kara:** it's not even worth it, anyway.

 **Winn:** does anyone know if james is coming?

 **Kara:** Now who's pathetic?

 **Winn:** fuck you

\---

Even with Kara's interests in journalism and science, one of her biggest joys in the world was still feeling the rush of running and jumping around, throwing balls and making goals - anything sports related, really, she was just good at it. 

She always felt like she was part of something when she was playing.

The rush of It all, the adrenaline running in her bloodstream. It was like someone had put a megaphone to her chest, and all she could hear was her own heartbeat.

It came naturally. It felt good.

At least, it used to.

It just happened that today a short, but very loud, girl named Siobhan hit her in the head and made her go to the university's nurse with a medium cut on the forehead. 

_What kind of person names their kid that, anyway? It's like they WANT them to be evil._

**Kara:** Hey Lee, sorry to bother. I know you're not busy, so could you maybe come to the nurse's office?

 **Lena:** What? Did something happen? Are you okay?

 **Kara:** Oh, yeah, sorry. Some weird girl made me hit my head playing basketball and now I have a cut on my forehead.

 **Kara:** I'm fine, but the nurse said I can't leave if someone doesn't come pick me up, and I think everyone else is in class, but if you can't it's okay. I could run away...

 **Lena:** Shut up. I'll be there in ten.

But of course, she was there in less than five minutes.

"Hey." and that was all it took for Kara’s heart to skip a beat. 

"Hi."

Lena was in a different outfit from this morning; a simple dark green long-sleeved dress with something that looked like a brown lace took the place of a white button up shirt and black jeans. The change of clothes only made Kara wonder if anything could even look slightly off on the raven haired girl - she was beautiful, as always. 

She was one of the only things Kara could really always count on. Their friendship had only started a year ago when Kara had to interview Lena for a project - when everyone still hated her; hated her for her family and the evil they had done, how corrupted they are and how money-hungry they could be; hated her not because of what she was or what she did, but what they thought she was and did. So it was just a established fact that Lena Luthor was the same as everyone else that carries the infamous name of Luthor. But Kara didn't think so, and Lena was grateful for that.

They simply... clicked, Kara liked to think, like kindred spirits, meant to be together. 

"How are you? Sorry I took so long, some guy from the football team kept asking me if we wanted to go to a party." Lena said, as she sat by Kara's side on the examination table, handing her a coffee cup. 

"You? In a frat party? That's… something." she chuckled, as she drank the coffee and scrunched her nose because of the lack of sugar; knowing instantly that was Lena’s order: large, dark, pure. _How much caffeine was there in that thing?_

“I don’t even know how some of those guys managed to get into college.” she said, also disliking the taste of her coffee; it was too sweet and sugary for Lena. They only looked at each other smiling, switching their cups as a natural gesture, not thinking at all or even saying a word about it “Anyway, you didn’t answer me. How are you, really? Don’t lie.”

“I’m perfectly fine, really. It’s just a tiny cut.” she reassured, but the other girl looked at her in disbelief “You know, I was just playing, trying to make a basket, which I didn’t do, by the way, and some random girl snapped and threw the ball too hard at my direction. I fell and hit my forehead, that’s all. But I swear that girl was so short she could still be in middle school, and wasn’t even good! Honestly, I’m sure if it was me who hit her, I would’ve killed that toddler.”

Lena observed her talking, every word that came out of her mouth so carefully, complaining over her bad day as if it was the worst thing that’s ever happened and smiling because of how much she was so dramatically mad. 

“Also, what’s with the dress? Not saying I don’t love it, but that looks at least one century old.”

Lena looked down at herself and laughed, knowing fully well that Kara couldn’t take another minute without answers. “Oh, this old thing? It was in my closet for a while, I thought I would give it a chance.” the green-eyed girl joked “It’s for the new play, we’re trying costumes. Call me Lady Macbeth.”

She smiled. “Yeah, that makes more sense. Anyway, sorry for making you come here, you probably were busy doing something important. I just need you to sign this so I can give it to the nurse and finally go home.” Kara finished, as Lena signed the note.

“I told you it’s fine, I do not mind at all. Besides, I was actually supposed to go on a date with some random guy my mother set me up with. So you basically saved from the most boring day.” And that’s what made Kara think her day was really going as bad as it could. She only hoped Lena didn’t notice the sudden shade of pink appearing on her cheeks. “I’m just gonna change to some century appropriate clothing and then we can go home now and help Nia with that little party of hers.”

“Yeah. Let’s go home.” 

And so they did.

\---

“Okay, where’s the booze? I was only supposed to bring the ice, right?” asked Winn, unloading four bags full of ice cubes onto the kitchen counter. “What now? I didn’t know how much ice I was supposed to bring. I was told it would just be a gathering, but then _someone_ said I should be as extra as I could.” he continued looking directly at Nia. 

Everyone just knew that Kara wouldn’t be very happy about it, but it was already too far to stop. 

Or at least, that was their excuse in case everything went wrong.

And just as Nia was going to start saying that everything would be _chill_ and Kara wouldn’t mind, Brainy asked: “Nia Nal, how many people did you exactly invite?” and the girl only showed him her phone screen.

“Yep, that’s a lot. You’re dead to Kara.” said Winn, taking the girl’s phone off of her hand, not in the slightest trying to make the situation better. “Oh no…” he completed, making the others even more worried. “You invited Andrea Rojas? Lena’s ex? Now even I wanna kill you.”

Now that wasn’t all Nia’s fault though. But the room went dead silent either way. She didn’t know; how could she know? It wasn’t like she and Lena were super best friends. But Kara doesn’t know either, so when she finds out, that’s all Winn can be anxious about.

“Let’s just pretend it’s okay, and maybe eventually i’ll be. But also, where’s the alcohol? Is James coming? Why are Kara and Lena taking so long? I literally wanna die.” and the boy was already stuffing himself with the snacks for the party.

“Who wants to die? Besides me, I mean?” asked Kara, that just walked into the kitchen holding a bag of frozen peas to her forehead due to her most recent lesion, and Lena right beside her with a couple too many tequila and whiskey bottles, that Kara, obviously, had to to help Lena carry, while still bleeding a little.

She always did that, put the others first. It was one of the things that made her herself, even if it’s not exactly healthy. Kara had always been that one overprotective friend who gets hurts if it means everyone else is okay. Sometimes she even felt like she would explode; having to pretend to be strong all the time wasn’t easy, and she didn’t like to make herself vulnerable enough to talk about that. _It’s worth it._

“I don’t know and I don’t care, just tell me someone brought alcohol, please.” 

Suited smirk on her face, Lena gives the now-less-anxious boy a bottle of beer “I did, thank you very much. Perks of being a Luthor, everyone.”

“Glad you can finally see the good side of things!” taking the bottle from Winn’s hand and leaving him open-mouthed, Nia said “Wait, why does she have a bag of peas on your head? Did Kara Danvers finally lose it?” she teased, knowing very well Kara will lecture her about the mess she made.

“Shut up. Some girl hit me with a basketball and I fell. Not a big deal” simply said Kara, glasses off, still in a messy ponytail and her NCU blue jersey that does a very good job at displaying her defined biceps, which Lena was thankful for, since it was something she was always secretly staring at while hoping that no one notices.

“You could have had a concussion, for all I know” said the raven haired girl, worrying about Kara since she texted her, and making her a little perky for doing so. She loved the attention; well, _her_ attention.

Going to her bedroom, Nia following her to get the blonde more ice, Kara laid down on her bed, taking the cold bag her friend was offering "She was going on a date with a guy, why am I so pathetic?"

"Not this again." the younger girl pledged, but looking like Kara and seeing she expects an answer to her ridiculous question "You're not. If she didn't go on her date to be with you, maybe all is not bad, huh?" she tried to help.

Kara replying with a grunt and a short pause, before saying "Maybe, but I'm not feeling very optimistic today, so I'm still hopeless. And mad at you." 

Giving up, Nia walked out of the room, leaving her friend to change into more comfortable clothes.

“Did you see James?” Winn asked when seeing Kara, and Nia simply scoffed.

Now changed out of her sports clothes, but with some old Adidas black tracking pants, plus a white t-shirt and red and blue socks, Kara laughed “Winn, please, forget him. It’s getting embarrassing.”

Either not knowing if the girl was joking or him just wanting to take things a little too far, he turned his head into Kara's direction, mouth with a well knowing smile "Oh, so you are allowed to dirty dream about you-know-who, but when I have a crush it’s embarrassing?" accompanied only by teasing laughter.

If the so named 'you-know-who' (also known as Lena Luthor) wasn't in the room, there weren't any reasons to call her that, since Kara can be very obvious when showing interest in someone. 

But at the same time, some may think that even with the green eyed girl present, she wouldn't notice if Winn had called her by her own full name, as oblivious as one can be. 

"Who’s you-know-who?" Lena simply asked, the idea of being her crossing her mind, but not paying to too much attention it anyway, almost not jealous and genuinely curious about the secret identity of Kara's crush (in a _friendly_ way, of course).

Now all there is in Kara's thoughts are panic while Brainy and Nia stay agape by the very uncomfortable situation created by Winn's call out.

Face now red, Kara stuttered a little "I- Um… No one, Winn is just being stupid." she managed to say "You know what, I’m gonna go get something to eat until this thing begins, maybe practice a little, so try not to make a mess." was all she said before putting on her shoes and getting her phone near Lena's hands - which she took special care trying not to touch.

Lena had concern in her mind but simply looked into Kara's eyes - the blue ones she could spend hours staring at and imagining whole constellations and seas of color in those shiny light eyes - and she just nodded to her, saying to her, in their own language, that she is okay. And Lena almost believed it.

"She had a weird day." Nia tried to explain, being left to organize the party mostly on her own, since Winn was getting drunk and a still confused Lena and Brainy had to go.

\---

It was a quiet evening, the sun was going down and people on campus were coming home - which Kara was thankful for, once no one could see her trying to dribble around imaginary players and moving the ball around her hands, going for the shot and miserably missing the basket. And that happened _many_ times today.

She wasn't distracted, was she?

It could've been Lena and her stupid dates, and how she's always too busy for her, and how she has other cooler and richer friends… but she knows this one day where she woke up late and things didn't go as planned wasn't such a big deal. It's how much pressure she's been putting on herself to get everything done right this time. _Write more. Be there for Alex. Tell Lena._

So she just sat there, wondering what the hell she was going to do with her life.

_But it's not like anyone knows, right?_

**Nia:** heyy, where r u?? I know it's only been a few of hours but I honestly can't survive without you

 **Nia:** and also winn is too drunk for me rn

 **Kara:** sorry :P coming home soon

\---

Kara gets home after a few hours of practice (and ice cream, but she doesn't tell anyone that) and as soon as she unlocks the door, a very drunk and tipsy Winn Schott comes in her direction.

"Heeey, Kara. I've been worried about you, girl." he said wrapping his left arm around her waist while the other one held a bottle of vodka - which he insisted on having her drink it a little because he _loves drunk Kara_ so she finally took a sip. And another, and another… "Guess what? Lena got us vodka! She's the best, you should totally date her."

And as much as Kara was really enjoying talking drunk nonsense to Winn about Lena and him nodding enthusiastically (mostly because he was the only one who could listen to her complain about not wanting to ruin the friendship - or something like that, for at least a hundred times a week), a hand came in to take their drinks away before a tragedy would happen "I thought you were coming to get him sober, now I have to take care of two dumb gays. Honestly, I should pay less rent." looking at Kara, but getting only a _meh_ in response "Well, save it for the party, will you?"

It was only and hour and a half later and the lights were already low, there was some simple cheap party decorations around the whole place, the music was on and the guests were coming. None of them Lena, since she had texted Kara there had been a problem at L-Corp, and being the only intern that seemed knowing how to do _anything_ , she would probably be late to the party.

Her absence being compensated by the presence of someone almost as powerful: Andrea Rojas. She and her _friends_ \- that were obviously with her for her money and fame, since the Rojas family was one of the most impactful with their company, Obsidian, bigger than ever. Kara, of course, couldn't care less about that, having a little place in her life devoted to disliking Andrea. Sometimes due to her poorly written articles that had to be rewritten a hundred of times just for them to turn out to be exaggerated and redundant (and getting to be front page anyway), but mostly because when she looks at her, all she can see is Lena Luthor.

Lena and Andrea went to boarding school together and used to date, which was probably the weirdest thing Kara could imagine; just to try to picture them being affectionate and _in love_ seemed strange. Even stranger when considering how much Lena couldn't stand her presence anymore. She was gorgeous, yes, Kara couldn't deny that, but _God_ , she was the worst.

So when she was walking towards Kara's direction, she couldn't really pretend she wasn't staring "Hey Danvers, like what you see?" honey colored eyes looking at hers with dominance, not bothering to get her own drink and just taking a sip from Kara's beer and taking her empty hand to Kara's arm, feeling her biceps.

Not trying to disguise her annoyance and slight disgust, she just took Andrea's hand away from her own body "Just wasn't expecting you here, that's all." She looked around for anyone she knew trying to flee the conversation. "Are you, um, looking for… eh, Lena?" she managed to say. 

Her eyes slightly widening with the mention of Lena's name "Ah, yes. Have you seen her? Is she even here?" she asked.

"Not really, so maybe it's better if you go and just come back later." Kara said, and seconds later being just as surprised as Andrea when Lena opens the door and comes in their way.

Her hair loose and now wavy and light make up accompanying the black dress that made Kara (and probably everyone else) stare at her crossing the room. Kara blushed being proud of herself with Lena dressed up for _her_ party, and now taking her side, making half of the people there jealous. 

She wasn't less than perfect, and she made sure everyone knew it.

Kara tried to respectfully complement Lena, but due to various reasons like alcohol, her stupid crush and basically her whole personality, she only mumbled a few words "Wow. Y- you look… wow. You're just- you're hot." and for that she reminded herself to jump off a building later, knowing she would cringe and regret saying that if she was sober. But she wasn't, so she didn't notice the reddish color that took place in Lena's face.

"Thank you." she smiled.

Both of them cursing themselves internally and the situation made only worse when Andrea made her presence noticed again, this time holding one of Lena's hands, who was clearly annoyed and looked back at Kara while following her ex girlfriend.

"So… that's your new toy? Cute, didn't know you liked athletes. You know they're all dumb, right?" Lena only looking at her when noticing Andrea was talking about Kara.

Were they _that_ oblivious? 

"What?! Kara? No! She's… no" she tried to explain herself, Andrea lifting her eyebrow as if knew better than them what was happening between the two. And in a way, she kind of did "Actually, last I checked, I don't owe you anything, so I don't even know why I'm giving you any details of my life."

Andrea simply hummed as an answer, and Lena got even more annoyed "Anyway, do you want anything or can I go back to my friends?" with emphasis on the last word.

Andrea rolled her eyes "I just wanted wanted to see you, actually, since you're always avoiding me anywhere else I figured you couldn't get away here." Lena only half listened and was already walking towards her friends direction, and Andrea grabbed her arm while she was leaving, making the dark haired girl's eyes pierce so hard Andrea's that you could almost see the heat "Lena, can't we just go back to how it used to be?" her other hand tucking Lena's hair behind her ear.

Lena just sadly looked at her before finishing and walking away, this time, uninterrupted "Goodbye, Andrea. Don't bother me or my friends anymore."

\---

Kara looked directly at Lena's eyes, being taken away from her by Andrea, who was holding her her hand like she was supposed to.

"I can't stand her, ugh." Nia appeared in front of Kara, taking her out of her daydream "I don't even know how she got here. I didn't invite her." _sure, let's go with that._

Kara hummed her agreement with Nia, her eyes no longer focused on what she couldn't control "I just don't understand her." 

"What do you mean? Lena?" the younger girl asked.

"Both of them. They shouldn't have been together, and this isn't my stupid crush talking, anyone can see Lena is so much better than that. She deserves someone as good as her." the blonde answered, sitting down on the arm of the couch.

Nia agreed, nodding to Kara's words whilst choosing her own "Yeah, she's too good." she said "But I think you're just as good, and while I do believe you both should and will be together soon, I don't think it's going to do you any good overthink this now. Just go have fun, Kara."

 _Just go have fun_ , Nia's words echoed through her mind as she saw Lena come back to where they were previously standing - but instead of going to her, she went away, looking at her eyes and then down before walking towards her opposite direction.

\---

She probably drank too much, and that was usually an extreme thing to say since Kara was weirdly very tolerant to alcohol or simply didn't drink often because she wasn't old enough and _actually_ respects that law. 

But there were empty bottles of whoever knows what all over the floor and another half drank beer in Kara's hand waiting to be tossed out with the others, people making out as if that was the right place or time for that and… _who the fuck is that on Kara's lap?_ Oh yes, Gayle, was it? Some psychology major kissing her, pink lipstick smudged on Kara's neck, her hands on her hair, making a mess that no one would remember out of it.

In her defense, Nia said she should go have fun, and with all the alcohol and pretty girls, there wasn't a lot of space for interpretation.

Still, Lena couldn't help but stare. Tight black dress and make up still on, but she wasn't feeling so hot anymore. Maybe she wanted Kara's hand on _her_ hair. Maybe Kara was having _too much_ fun.

Someone had to interrupt _that_ , right? "Hey, you, out. Now." She said to the girl on Kara's lap - who only rolled her eyes and left. Hoping Kara would have some sense left in her mind, she couldn't just let her make something she would regret. Not that Kara's sex life was of her interest. "Busy?"

"Having fun." she cheaply replied, marks all over her neck but not a hint of interest to her eyes.

Lena's cheeks burned with the jealousy she kept to herself, but not concerned about that now "I can see that, yeah." she looked down "Listen, Kara, you shouldn't be drinking so much. I worry about you. Maybe switch to soda now?" Lena suggest, genuinely interested in Kara's well being.

So she opened her mouth to reply, but as Lena's hand went and grabbed hers, she could only look away "Like I said, I'm having fun." she coldly half whispered to Lena's ear, leaving her agape while going to open the door when someone knocked.

\---

Winn and Brainy were exchanging stories from science camp went Kara suddenly appeared with a taller, broad-shouldered figure on her side, taking all Winn's attention from Brainy.

"James? James, hey, hi. So, um, 'sup?" The boy mumbled as his anxiety started showing, like all those tequila shots he had taken with Kara were simply gone.

"Hey, Winn, you good?" James said, gently putting his hand on Winn's forearm, making it impossible for him not to freak out. 

And as much Kara and Lena were obviously the couple they were waiting to get together, Winn and James were another similar story, just as dramatic - and they all knew it. Brainy and Kara decided to leave the boys alone, giving them some privacy.

\--- 

Lena Luthor wasn't one to give up very easily. 

Nia was off talking to Brainy, calming him down because of all the people making him uncomfortable. _God, they are the cutest_ , she thought.

Winn was drooling over James, who was telling a baseball related story that Winn couldn't care a bit about, but had his full attention focused on his lips and the way his hands were moving. She wasn't so different when it was Kara talking.

Andrea was drinking the expensive scotch she had brought herself. _It was only carnal_ , she remembered.

Anyway, that only left Kara, who still had younger cheerleaders hovering around her, hoping to get any attention from the captain of the basketball team, their hands on Kara's arms, hair, on her lips… _Fuck this, fuck this all._

Suddenly, Kara caught her eyes on her, now taking another tequila shot to her mouth with a smug "Excuse me, girls." while making her way towards Lena "staring much?" closer to her presence, perhaps _too_ close.

"Why do you care? You know, you're a mean drunk." Lena chuckled, trying to change the tone of the conversation.

"I care because I'm fucking jealous." Kara said flatly, serious as ever and making Lena speechless (and ruin her underwear). 

"I- um, well, fuck. Come here." Lena said, cursing herself internally, while grabbing Kara's hand and dragging her to her bedroom.

She had been there what it felt millions of times, watching movies Kara would show her, just taking about anything to each other or studying - which was something they could do separately, but they were each other's favorite person and there was no denying that. 

But now it felt… weird. The music outside was loud, the room was dark and they were alone. Were they fighting? Or was this like a moment? Why was Kara looking kinda green?

The last question was answered when Kara quickly grabbed an old hat hanging on her TV and vomited on in, trying not to get it on the floor. Useless try, when she felt too weak to hold it long enough to not let it fall from her hands.

Well, never let Kara get too drunk anymore was an understatement.

"Hey, easy there. Are you okay? Want some water?" The dark haired girl asked, putting Kara on her bed and taking off her dirty hoodie, leaving a grey sports bra showing, and as much as Lena really wanted to take her time looking at Kara's defined abs, she was too concerned for that.

"Yeah. Sorry, you're still pretty and nice. I hope I didn't throw up on you, that's not... so nice. But I love you." Kara managed to say, slowly falling asleep holding a water bottle while Lena left to get something to clean the floor.

It hadn't been the best night, but still, Kara sleeping peacefully after everything today was a nice sight, and it just made Lena calm.

"Goodnight, Kar. I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so kara's kind of a mean drunk huh and uh... just assume everyone here is queer and a drama queen
> 
> okay so, I have no idea of what i'm doing here but does anyone really?? 
> 
> @notenoughtofeelthelack on tumblr!


	2. burning brighter than the sun

Everything was now back in its order - Winn stopped complaining about James, who had to go back to Metropolis; Nia and Brainy were… well, still the cutest couple ever; and Kara had no idea what had happened about a week ago, when she was too drunk to realize that she shouldn't have girls she didn't know kissing her, or even remember what happened between her and Lena - who remembered everything.

Of course, it wasn't like they kissed or Kara confessed her love instead of usually throwing bad pick up lines at her as a joke. But she did say she loved her - but again, that wasn't the first time; they were close friends who loved each other, that's not a big deal.

But Lena wouldn't forget how Kara looked directly at her eyes while talking to those girls, pretending to pay attention when she was interested in something - someone - else. Or how she said she was 'fucking jealous' of her and Andrea together. And Kara didn't remember a bit about it.

Except she didn't need to. 

As soon as Kara woke up, she found herself changed into nice clean clothes and tucked on her bed, wondering why she wasn't passed out on the couch still with people around her and smelling like the floor of an old tired club. But when her eyes flickered to the bedside table to check the time, she saw a glass of water and some aspirins on top of a post it note saying 'For when you stop having so much fun. Get better' signed by Lena. She didn't know what the first part meant but was grateful anyway and her heart instantly got warm with the love she felt - and thought Lena had no idea.

\---

"Oh God, I still can see some marks on my neck." Kara said, holding her phone to check her notifications but seeing her reflection on the screen, hiding her face in her hand, embarrassed of what she had done days ago "I'm never letting Nia in charge of anything ever again."

Brainy smiled, waiting for his girlfriend to get onstage, watching the rehearsals for the school play "Yes, perhaps she was little too… extra, I think."

Kara's eyes went to look at the boy, who wasn't the best with slangs and social interaction overall - so Kara found extremely brave when he tried to get out of his comfort zone "Yeah, that's probably an understatement." 

The older boy nodded, but when he opened his mouth say something else, Kara's phone ringed, and as she checked it, it revealed a name on the screen she would always make time for. 

Excusing herself from the theater while trying not to make too much noise, she picked up "Hey sis!"

"Alex! Oh God I really need to talk to you." Kara said, relieved to finally had a moment to say hi to her sister, now so busy with her medical internship in Seattle.

Her sister, always so concerned about Kara, immediately asked how she was, being probably the person who has heard the most about the whole Lena situation and the only one who didn't make fun of her for it… as much "Yeah? Again about your girlfriend?"

That only made Kara blush even thinking about Lena being her girlfriend and how it would never happen "Ughh, I can't take another one of you teasing me about her, I thought you were better than that, Alexandra."

"Will you shut up? I'll stop it when you tell her already. Also, only mom can call me Alexandra." Kara almost could see her sister rolling her eyes at the mention of her full name.

"Okay, fine. But seriously, can we talk? I feel like I could use some actual help." she asked, always coming to her sister for help, as they did since they were kids.

"Oh, because I'm such an expert about relationships? Yeah sure, I'll help you, young Padawan." this time, it was Kara who roller her eyes.

"Because God knows how, you have a girlfriend. Fucking nerd." 

Even though Kara couldn't see her, she knew Alex was smiling when she talked about her girlfriend "That's your fault, but also, don't tell Kelly. She's like, so smart? I couldn't imagine her knowing that I'm a Star Wars geek." she said, remembering the times when they would binge movies all day back in Midvale "But actually, I gotta go now. I'll call you later so we can talk more, okay? Love you."

"Yeah, bye. Miss you." She said, taking a deep breath after the call ended, internally reminding herself how she hated being away from her sister, but being so proud of her at the same time.

It was hard, with her Midvale days years ago, swimming on the beach and going on double dates with girls, seemed so distant now having only less than five minutes to talk to her sister. 

\---

Noticing a certain green eyed girl in a moss-colored old looking dress - that somehow didn't make her any less gorgeous - walking down towards her, Kara couldn't help but notice every single detail she still hadn't seen on Lena. 

This time, how she always walks with her head down when she's with Kara - as if Kara was the only one to make the so powerful Lena Luthor feel vulnerable, but of course, she didn't know that. 

"What do you think about the play? Did you like it? We still have a lot of work to do but I think we're gonna be fine.", she said, still looking down. Caring so much about Kara's opinion, even if everyone thought she was just a dumb jock whose only ability is to throw a ball into a basket. But Lena knew she was so much more than that. She was everything but that. 

Kara only sighed at firs, pretending to think about it, leaving the other girl even more nervous, but soon breaking in to a warm ear to ear smile "It's great, Lee. Sometimes I can't believe how talented and just- how fucking perfect you are. I'm proud of you." she said, softly holding Lena's hand "You too, Nia. I guess you make a really good weird sister."

"Aww, thanks, Kar. It's like you don't even hate me." Nia joked, taking the tension away from Kara and Lena's interaction - which still left Lena a little agape with how supportive Kara was of her, and how she didn't know what that was like while growing up with Lillian Luthor as a mother. "We'll go change from these clothes and we'll meet you outside?" she asked, mostly to Brainy, who only nodded and leaned down for a quick kiss, something so intimate and automatic for them that made both Kara and Lena uncomfortable with each other's presence.

\---

As Brainy and Nia said their goodbyes as they went on their way to what both Kara and Lena know is a date, but was disguised as science related emergency on the chem lab on the building across campus - a poor choice of a lie, considering the name Luthor is all over the edifice and Lena pretty much lives there when she’s not around on Kara’s place, but disregarding it anyway and giving them a simple “sure, good luck with it” along with narrowed eyes as a response to the couple.

Leaving the two of them wandering around in silence on the big halls of the arts building, coffee in hand and now wearing clothes that don’t look like they’re from the eleventh century; instead, jeans and a NCU sweatshirt that would make the oldest Luthor alive at the very least start yet another monologue about the deception Lena seemed to be compared to golden boy Lex Luthor.

"Alex called.” Kara said, breaking the comfortable silent atmosphere that surrounded them, so softly that Lena most likely wouldn’t hear if they weren’t basically alone, with exception of a few other students.

"Oh? How is she? Her internship must be pretty wild." she said, knowing better than anyone just how much Kara misses her sister.

"Pretty much busy all the time.” she said, still looking at the floor. “Can't shut up about her girlfriend though." she laughed, for a brief moment focusing her eyes on Lena, who detected the melancholy on her voice.

"You miss her a lot, don't you?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

She sighed "I miss everything with her. It was just so much easier in Midvale." she smiled softly at the memories that came to her mind.

"I can imagine.” she smiled “I mean, I can't, but I bet it was nice growing up in a quiet town with a family that loves you." she half-joked, shrugging.

"You do have a family that loves you, you know that right?" Lena only smiled softly and gently squeezed her hand as they walked down the hall when Kara continued "You're my best friend. Always."

"You're my best friend too."

\---

"How the hell am I supposed to remember any of this?"

"You're not. You're supposed to understand it." 

"Either way, I don't like physics." said Kara, hanging upside down on her bed as she watched Lena making notes about… engineering? too much numbers, she wasn't sure "I'm bored." 

She sighed and spinned on the chair with a shy smiled on her face, pen tucked behind her ear "Go talk to Nia."

She sat on the bed "She's with her boyfriend."

"Write you essay."

"Done."

"Go practice basketball."

She laughed "It's literally raining outside."

"Call that girl from your party." she said, with one brow raised.

Her face went bright red as stuttered over her words "I-I'm... not gonna do t-that. Let's just forget that that happened."

"Then go-"

"Lena, please, can we do something? You're a genius already, you don't need to spend another hour studying whatever that is." Kara said standing up and causing a new red tone show up to Lena's face, at the same time she laughed.

She let out a loud sigh "Fine. What do you have in mind?" she asked, and regretted the decision as soon as she made it. 

\---

"Kara Danvers, I swear to God I will never let you take me anywhere alone anymore." she said as she tried to fake an angry voice but accomplishing only a choir of laughter from Kara, who was splashing water all over her face "I officially don't trust you anymore."

She smiled "Shut up, you love me."

It turned out that Kara's great idea to spend time on a boring Sunday afternoon was to break into NCU's swimming pool and just hang out there, and Lena was sure that it sounded a much better idea in Kara's head. 

And maybe it was the way Kara held her hand to lead the way there that made her forget everything and how everyone was at their dorms, already overwhelmed with the amount of things they had to get done and studying all day, and they were left all alone. Or perhaps it was how Lena tried to talk Kara out of it, but just standing close enough to the edge for Kara to come in front of her with that bright smile and blue eyes of hers and distract her long enough for her not to notice where Kara's hands were going, as she said Lena's name just so softly, and the last thing she saw was water all over her and one Kara Danvers taking her glasses off and jumping in next, bursting with laughter that filled the whole room. And as much as she was not planning on going in a fucking pool, Kara, it's not funny, she couldn't bring herself to leave.

Lena's eyebrow went up and opened her mouth as if to yell some more but closing with a sigh "I will kill you." she said, with seriousness in her eyes and a smirk on her face.

"Oh, there it is, that's the Luthor gene showing." Kara joked.

Lena looked at her barely holding a laugh in when Kara decided, yet again, to throw water at her, making her endlessly grateful that she chose to wear waterproof mascara - glad that Kara wouldn't have to see lines of black makeup smearing over her face "I'm going to fucking end you."

Kara could only scoff at her threat, not being her first one coming from Lena that day "I'd love to see you try."

So, naturally, the next thing Kara saw was a big splash of water and hands on her waist, pulling her down enough that the only thing she could see was water and a blurry figure with dark hair and pale skin, with water bubbles coming out of her mouth as she laughed.

Now, Lena couldn't care less about how her hair was the biggest mess, soaked in water, along with her clothes - that didn't mean half as much as Kara's blushed cheeks and lack of glasses, a sight she was still studying and appreciating each detail, now even more as little droplets of water fell down her face and her wet hair went darker, along with her eyes.

And it looked like Kara noticed her staring, smiling slightly confused "What?" she took her hands up to her face trying to take any hair that could possibly make her look bad with Lena so close.

She shook her head and smiled "Nothing. You just look…" she struggled to find the right word.

"Bad?" Kara suggested.

"No. Happy. I like it." she said, the last three words leaving her mouth so softly she didn't realize she was saying them until she heard her own voice and saw Kara's glossy eyes. 

"I like it too." she smiled, and suddenly they were standing too close to each other. Were we like this the whole time? she thought, gazing the mark on Lena's neck, and how easy it would be to just lay soft kisses there. 

Their eyes met, now too aware of the close distance between them when Kara lifted her hand to tuck Lena's hair behind her ear, and she just watched her, stealing glances at her lips while the other was making herself busy. 

Kara's eyes grew darker, and Lena was all there was in the world. Lena, green eyes, water. Lena. Lena. Lena. The dark haired girl opened her mouth to say something, but being interrupted by distant, but loud voices, as the lights flickered up, waiting for someone else to walk in and ruin everything, and it was like whatever magic spell keeping them so closed together was broken.

"We have to go." Lena hissed, trying to get out of the pool as fast as possible, this time not worrying too much about Kara, who was doing the same. 

They stopped only to get Kara's glasses and phone, which were still laying on floor, and the voices got louder and closer each second. The front door was opened and they heard the voices saying that they were sure someone was in there. They ran to the locker room, hiding there for at least about ten minutes, just until it was safe to leave, wide panicked eyes but still laughing as if what they did was insignificant and a joke, at most.

"I'm gonna get us some towels." Kara whispered with a grin on her face, glasses crooked and water dripping all over the floor.

Now wrapped up in towels and sitting on the bench, the adrenaline of almost getting caught running through their veins, but smiling nonetheless, Lena broke the silence "I had fun." she said hesitantly, as if the moment they had just a few minutes prior to now didn't happen. As if they weren't lost inside each others eyes a while ago. As if they didn't know what they would've done if no one had interrupted them. 

Kara looked up, directly at Lena's eyes, so softly but still so piercing that it was almost painful to look at, and put her hand over hers on her thigh, squeezing it just a little "Me too." she said, and they both knew that it wasn't all she wanted to say.

As dry as they could be right now (and that means hair dripping chlorine water everywhere and clothes sticky enough that Lena could clearly see Kara's abdomen through her t-shirt, and that exactly the type of thing she didn't want to be thinking about) they stood up and got ready to leave, and Lena almost regretted letting Kara take her to the swimming pool. 

Opening her mouth and staring directly at Kara's eyes as if to say something that's never come out, Lena's eyes are suddenly darting over the locker room, trying to find something to comment about when she notices a quiet sound coming from Kara's phone laying on the bench "Your… um, Alex, she's calling you." she says while Kara is already with the object to her right ear and talking excitedly with her sister.

Lena tried not to pay much attention to the conversation but can't possibly manage not to catch some words here and there, like a 'you are what?' coming from Kara and a loud, but hard to understand 'your apartment' from the older sister - as confusing and messy as that sounded.

Kara's attention is shortly back on Lena when she tells her what the call was about in an energetic ramble that has Kara pacing around the room and trying to put back everything they had used "Apparently, Alex is like, waiting on my apartment door right now and I have to get there. Otherwise she will absolutely kill me even though she gave me zero information on anything else at all." she said frenetically, hair still wet and dripping and a towel on her shoulders. 

Lena nodded, expecting more words from Kara but being met with nothing else from the girl "Well, you should go then." she said with the corner of her mouth slightly curved in form of a smile, the gesture not being enough to convince Kara to just go "It's fine, know my way back. Just get home before Alex gets too hungry and decides murdering her sister is a reasonable thing." she added with a light chuckle that has now managed to chance Kara's mind.

She smiled "Are you sure?" Kara asked, making Lena blush with the casual display of her protectiveness.

"Yes, dear. Just go already" 

"Okay." she said before unexpectedly walking just too close to Lena as leaving the softest, most awkward kiss to her cheek, right next to her mouth "I'll see you later." and she was already out of the locker room, leaving Lena alone, with only her thoughts and the loud sound of the heavy doors opening and closing as Kara ran towards them to keep her company. 

"Fuck.” 

\---

The image isn't exactly the most flattering, but Alex had better things to think about other than her bad alcohol breath or how she was found sitting on the floor, by the door of her sister's flat, with a half eaten box of potstickers - which she claims was meant for Kara, but she just took sooo long.

So it only took one anxious Kara Danvers to get there and worry as much as she could. 

Kara paces around the room, with now dry, comfortable clothes "Care to explain to me now why exactly you're here?" she asked, hands on her hips and handing Alex a big cup of coffee.

"Turns out I actually passed my intern exams, so I'm starting my residency program in a few weeks. Thought I'd come to see you before heading to Midvale." she explained, with wide eyes and a nervous smile before Kara could replicate the expression on her on face and sit next to her sister, hugging her as hard as possible.

"That's amazing! I'm so proud of you, Alex." Kara started, her smile growing bigger as she let go of the hug "How could you seriously think you would fail? I know a lot of smart people and you're easily at the podium."

She sighed before giving Kara a half smile "Sure, but it's different now. I could actually kill someone if I don't think fast enough, when I think about that I just can't focus. I just feel…-"

"Scared?" Kara completed.

Alex nodded and looked away as Kara continued "Alex, fear has never stopped you from doing anything. Remember how you came out to Eliza before me just to make sure she'd be okay with me too? I trust you with my life." her eyes turned back to Kara's, but often drifting away as she was talking "Of course you're gonna mess up sometimes, but you can’t let that take the best of you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah." She tilted her head to the opposite side of Kara's stare.

Kara could only smile again, taking her sister's hand on her own "I love you, Alex. Missed you so much here." she said lovingly.

"Well, there's no need to get sappy about it." her eyes went back to meet Kara's, soft smile forming on her mouth.

\---

Old movies playing in the background, popcorn all over the floor and finally a sobered up Alex, everything felt like home again.

"So what was that weird call from yesterday?" Kara had asked between mimicking Hermione Granger with a fumbling pen pointed to her phone, telling an imaginary Rony Weasley it’s leviOsa, not leviosA with an undeniably bad british accent and a popcorn stuffed mouth.

"Oh, yeah, sorry it lasted like, 30 seconds,” Alex started “Kind of… just wanted good luck before I checked the email saying I got in." she explained, leaving Kara nodding with a soft smile growing on her face.

“I’m really proud of you.” Kara stated simply, her blue eyes almost shining.

Alex smiled, this time not avoiding the look on her sister’s face, “I’m proud of you too.”

\---

They knew it was too good to be true.

Spending a whole day without at least one fight was definitely not a thing for the Danvers sisters, so it took a lot of shouting and arguing until they could actually be serious.

"But I don't want to be with anyone else!" Kara shouted again, as if Alex hadn't heard her from the 30 other times Kara has told her that "I swear I tried- I really did, I went on dates and everything and it wasn't half as good as just doing nothing with Lena." she continued

Alex only sighed and raised her eyebrows, as if asking her to go on while thinking every word her sister just said is a waste of time. 

But she did give up a long time ago. Kara may be hopeless, but Alex still was there.

"I think the worst thing about this is that sometimes I swear that she feels it too. Today even! She looked at me so… I don't know, but it was something. I swear, Alex, we had a moment and I seriously think we would have kissed." Kara enthusiastically gestured, like the while situation wouldn't be as confusing with her visual additions.

"Kara."

"Hm?"

"Just. Talk. To. Her." Alex told her once more.

"I… can't." She sighed as Alex wouldn't say anything else "Don't look at me like that"

"What do you want me to do, then?" Alex asked, lifting her hands, now even more confused about Kara's situation.

A million things she wants done. One thing she wants done.

But she didn't say anything.

She only looked defeated, worn down, tired. It's not as easy as shooting a basketball or writing an article. It's the messiest thing Kara's ever felt, it's all of her care and attention to devoted to one person, the one person she wouldn't mind spending a whole day doing nothing with, feeling full with speckles of selfishness spilled all over her, as if she's stained a perfectly good friendship with her messy feelings. As if she could pretend biting lips and long gazes at each other are at all friendly. As if it didn't ate her up every day she sees her smile and hears her laughter so loud for someone so small. As if kissing other people to forget her wasn't only gonna make her wonder what Lena tastes like.

As if Lena didn't feel exactly the same way.

"We're gonna graduate in two years and she's gonna work on her family company and get to be the genius she is.” Kara tells her, just like Lena’s told her life plan a million times, already planned for her since she came into the Luthor family 

“First, take over Luthor Corp. Second, change the world. That’s all.” she smiled, legs crossed in Kara’s bed, textbook open on her lap and nail polish in her hand.

Kara’s first reaction was to believe her. After all, if one person could change the world, it would be the tiny brunette struggling to paint her right fingernails “This is your whole plan? I don’t doubt you, but I just expect more, you know?”

“Well, a Luthor does have their whole life planned from the moment they’re born, but I just wanted you to think I would be able to do it on my own.” Lena half-smiled before turning her attention back to the smudged nails.

“I know you are.” Kara said, her face serious as well as soft, honest, Lena thought as she believed her words were true when keeping them in her memory.

“What am I supposed do? Keep playing basketball?” she went on, asking Alex all the questions she’s asked herself, from both the ‘why Lena and I are perfect for each other’ list and the ‘why Lena and I shouldn't be together’ one.

Alex shook her head disapprovingly "Kara..."

"I don't want us to be together just so we can break up and grow apart!" she shouted one more time, complicating the situation even more “Besides, it’s not just that, imagine if it just doesn’t work out and everything gets weird? I wouldn’t even get to keep her as a friend, Alex!”

"Okay, just stop. You're not even together yet and you're already thinking about breaking up? Maybe Kelly could talk to you about this anxiety you feel, I can tell it’s doing you no good.” 

She scoffed "What does Kelly even know?"

"She's a psy-"

"I know she’s a psychiatrist." she mumbled as Alex grew less and less patient “I don’t know, you just don’t get it, I shouldn’t have bothered.”

Oh no. 

Yep, that was it and Kara knew it as soon as the sentence left her mouth without second thought.

Alex started by laughing, and then looking so suddenly serious that for a moment Kara could see Eliza’s eyes in her when the girls were younger and couldn’t stop fight with each other or making the biggest messes around Midvale “Okay, you know what? At this point you’re just arguing with yourself and I did not come all the way here for you to lash out at me because you’re a coward that can’t do one thing for yourself in your life.” she looked down for a while, small smile forming in her lips “If you don’t allow yourself to be selfish for once, then what’s the point? You already know you want to be with her, so stop with the bullshit and tell her, but if you just won’t do it then you really shouldn’t have bothered.”

Kara couldn’t say anything, and it’s not like she has any idea of what in the world she could say, so she just takes a pillow and a blanket and goes to the living room with the words ‘be selfish for once’ hammering in her head “Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” she said “Thanks.”

\---

It’s easier now she’s alone and heard everyone’s opinion on the subject, not that they were any different, but now it really felt like Alex was only there as a mediator in a fight between Kara’s heart and brain, having to intervene now that things were spiraling out of control and deciding it was just too much.

But how could anyone blame her for not wanting to ruin something that is already good? Maybe someone who has never seen Lena’s eyes so closely you see the blue and green of each one so distinctively or never felt the way her hands fit perfectly into Kara’s bigger ones. Someone very clearly not lucky enough.

She can't even make out how it all started to see if there was any way to reverse the process, but she knew it was too late. Her mind focusing only on dark, dark hair and a smile reserved only for her, the wet sweatshirt Lena stole from Kara’s closet that still looked too big on her and the devastated look on Lena’s face Kara pretended not to see when they got interrupted in the swimming pool and then again when Kara told her she had to leave earlier that day. 

Already yawning and too tired to fight back, Kara drifted away to sleep with nothing on her mind but blue-green eyes and the sentiment of the guilt of wanting to just look at them every day, for as long as she could. Maybe someday, she thought, she’ll tell her and things should be fine, there would be no more Andrea or Luthor Corp and terrorist brothers, no more ‘we’re just friends!’ as if it didn’t hurt her throat just to say it, no more pretending Lena doesn’t know anything or maybe even no more feeling selfish over her feelings. Maybe someday.


End file.
